Wednesday, May 02, 2007

The Pledge

As a general rule, Ms. New Beauty doesn't do email forwards. Long messages about how a billionaire will save a baby, or Microsoft will pay for helping to test a new program, or MNB will be visited with a curse, if only she hits that forward button and passes the annoyance on to everyone in her addressbook. No. These get no action on Divinity, Ms. New Beauty's laptop. With all of the email accounts she checks several times each day - her school account, the ones her friends use, the account just for this blog, the spam email address - there just is not time to entertain forwards. But, every now and again MNB comes across something that warrants sharing. Lately, it's been funny clips from the internet's black hole of comedy, Youtube. But every year around this time, a clever little email about the proper feet and toe etiquette for fabulous women shows up in Ms. New Beauty's inbox. Though she's seen it a million times, it never fails to bring a smile to her face, probably because ashy, crusty, jacked up feet are the bane of MNB's existence. They are her Newman. So, she's adapting it to make it most applicable here.
The New Beauty Open Toed Shoe Pledge

Please raise your right hand and repeat the following. As a member of the New Beauty Sisterhood, I, (insert your name here) pledge to follow the following Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.

I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave, wax, pluck, or otherwise remove the hairs off my big toe and any other digits with visible fuzz.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend/coworker/mother/sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $30 and worth EVERY penny). But first, I will research and make sure that the salon I choose follows the proper health and safety standards. Perfectly painted toes are not worth this.

Now that we've established what is to be expected of sandal wearers, on to the products that will help you uphold this solemn pledge.

Dr. Scholl's Massaging Gel Arch Supports

So this season every woman with an ounce of style and $200 to spare has been slipping around town in Tory Burch's oh so cute ballet flats. I bought the gold metallic leather ones as soon as they hit the shelves in Neimans (for $165 before they became this season's it shoe and the price went up). Sadly, they'd been sitting in my shoe closet for months because I cannot wear flat shoes. I don't know if I have flat feet or fallen arches or what, but flat shoes make my feet burn. Literally. I can run around the city for hours on end in a pair of 4 inch heels, but flats just hurt my feet.

But, my girl Johnica raved about those very same Tory Burch flats, and I was so sad to be missing out. How can I let a cute pair of this season shoes wallow in the depths of my shoe closet alongside 8 year old pairs? I couldn't. So I picked up these inserts from CVS. At first, the shoes felt a little tight with the added bulk but after a few steps, I was in heaven. My feet had the support they needed and I walked to, from, and all around campus with no pain at all. No blisters. No raw skin from rubbing. And, these inserts are three quarter length, so they're perfect for the season's cute little peep toe flats. Now the world of flats has opened up its doors to me and I am rejoicing.

$9.99, available at drugstores

Bliss Softening Socks

By now, we're all familiar with the "slather your feet with vaseline and put on socks before bed" routine to get softer feet. But when you have very, very dry feet, that is simply not enough. That's purely maintenance for after you've gotten them soft. You still need something to soften them up in the first place. *Bliss socks enter stage left.* If you're feet are helplessly dry, these socks are a must have. They are truly a godsend and will soften your feet to newborn baby levels.

These socks are a cut above your regular old white Hanes tube socks. Lined with gel to trap in heat and moisture, these socks do not absorb your foot creme like regular ones do. That gel lining keeps the creme from evaporating and forces your feet absorb that moisture. The result is two ridiculous soft tootsies that are sandal season ready.

For best results, scrub feet with a pumice stone everyday in the shower. It works better if you wait until the end of the shower so that the hot water can soften up your heels. Scrub vigorously and then apply a heavy foot creme or body butter soon after to trap in the moisture from the shower. Put these socks on for at least 20 minutes. If your feet need intensive treatment, and you know if they do, put them on and go to sleep. You will wake up walking on clouds. Use these as often as needed because there is absolutely no excuse for dry, crusty feet. None.

$48, available at Bliss or Sephora

Have pretty perfect feet, and do those sexy sandals justice, but please don't forget that Ms. New Beauty told you!

P.S. I am still buried under more work than I know how to finish, but I felt really bad for not updating for such a long time. Things will be a little slow for the next week or so, but once I'm finished with school, everything will get back to normal

1 Comment:

KC said...

I need those socks because my heels are hardening...i'm getting old.. =o(

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